some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
