At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
