As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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