Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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