Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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