Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
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