why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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