I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
