Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.

Fav 14 3881 977
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(812): View more from Indiana

When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.

Fav 21 12265 1068
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(904): View more from Florida

at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A

Fav 140 7577 2253
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(210): View more from Texas

After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.

Fav 17 3487 1194
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(949): View more from California

We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.

Fav 14 2732 648
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.

Fav 3 1121 592
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(650): View more from California

that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.

Fav 0 11 46
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(250): View more from British Columbia

Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex

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