Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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