Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You pole danced in your parka.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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