HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
