After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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