so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
