I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
