K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
