Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
