Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Randomize
