drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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