I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
two words...techno handjob
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
