She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
