problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
