Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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