If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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