Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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