My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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