i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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