i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Randomize
