I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
