Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
