is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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