I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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