Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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