I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
We left the knife in your bed.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
