I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Randomize
