Porn is love you can see.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
