the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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