All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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