Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
This house was built for laser tag.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
