brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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