Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
