How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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