Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I will be naked everywhere
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Randomize
