i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
