Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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