shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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