I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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