Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
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