I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
