Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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