I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
