if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
