So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
