Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
