The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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