It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
i out mim tonsoeep
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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