**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
