I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
