Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
