I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
