There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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