so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
