I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
