My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
