If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
