Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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